Back to Single Life– Geronimo!

I started a couple of blogs about a year ago then promptly left blogging behind again without so much looking over my shoulder. What did I have to say that could possibly be of any interest to anyone? I left it and I left my dream to write because when it comes down to it, I love to write, I love to paint pictures with words although it is at times a very painful process. Last night I decided to chase up my old blogs and they were still there, no doubt still unread by a single soul. I read the posts and I actually enjoyed reading them. It was interesting to see where I was a year ago. At lunch today I decided just to sit down and pretend blog (free write a bit). It became an “inspirathon” and it poured out of me as though I had not been allowed to speak or write for years. I have no idea if any of it is any good but I have decided that it must not matter what this time, that if it is complete garbage you, my dear reader, do not have to keep reading it. I’m comfortable in the knowledge that you’ll have enough sense to use whatever means available to you to get away from this page and that you will waste no time in doing so....

I'm at a junction in my life. 41 years old, recently separated from my husband of seven years. It’s my second marriage. My first marriage lasted ten years and in my humble opinion it was a miracle I hung in there for that long (and that it didn’t kill me). Common sense should have seen me leave it all behind a lot sooner. If you stick around and read I will tell you more about that later no doubt but be warned, it’s not a very nice story.

Problem is that as much as I didn’t repeat the same mistake the second time around things still didn’t go all that well. Not only should I have been wiser the second time around but I should also have dealt with things in an entirely different way. I didn’t though and despite that I will say Non Je Ne Regrette Rien (I have nothing to regret) as Edith Piaf once sang. We live and learn, eh? The truth is that I like me as I am today, although faulty and aging, and I wouldn’t be who I am today were it not for the experiences I have had so far in life. And so, I feel grateful, for some peculiar reason, while something keeps nagging at me telling me that I should be bitterly disappointed with myself. (Mum, is that you?)

In case you're wondering, my other blogs are dead now. I did the kindest thing I could do for them; I had them put down. There was no other option available I realized. May they rest in peace, unread, unloved and ultimately unwanted but safe in the knowledge that they provided me with the launchpad for this blog.